Life Experiences and Stories

from Jay Martin

Many of you know that I enjoy discovering people who have highly unusual occupations or hobbies.

I try my best not to make fun of what they do or myself as well, but sometimes I can’t help myself as in “Bat Sex Testers.”

My latest find is a collector. Millions of people are collectors and they collect lots and lots of stuff. (I am on the trail of a “dehoarder”)

The odds on this collector could break the glass ceiling of infinity. My new friend collects paraprosdokians. Not only that, but he is a resident of Rolling Fork, Mississippi.

I asked Siri on my brand new iPhone to calculate the odds of a paraprosdokian collector living in Rolling Fork, Mississippi and the best she could come up was one trillion to the trillionth power less the population of Rolling Fork.

Here are some examples:

• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

• No I don’t agree with you. I could, but then we’d both be wrong.

• Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

• War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

• A clear conscience is often the sign of a bad memory.

• I did not say it was your fault I said I was blaming you.

• Always borrow money from pessimists. They won’t expect it back.

• To be absolutely sure of hitting your target – shoot first, then claim whatever you hit was the target.

• Why does someone believe you when you tell them there are four billion stars but check when you tell them the paint is wet.

First you will laugh. My favorite is the one about a clear conscience.

Second you will learn. When you find out what a paraprosdokian is, you will know something that nobody that you know knows.

Jay Martin

President and Founder

The Juice Plus+ Company